Definitely had issues with intimacy but I was fortunate as my wife loved me and was willing to hear me out once I had the courage to speak up about it.
I have only tasted the faintest hint of this, and it is devastating. Thank you so much for addressing it. I know men who have been here, and we do need it to at least be discussed, but you have done one further: discussed it with wisdom and humility. Thank you.
If any person is reading this and their gut feeling is “what the fuck?”…. Just know you are more well than anyone who wrote this or can read it without laughing. You are a-ok if you found this fucking insane to read
The husband may feel he's no right to ask his wife for anything, and find himself caught in a trap where he doesn't dare to express his feelings, knowing the response he will receive will contemptuousy blame him for being the cause of the situation.
He has failed to make his wife feel like she wants him. It's his fault.
What can he do? He has failed in the very thing he wanted more than anything: to love and be loved by his wife, and has no idea how or why this has happened.
He only knows one thing for sure: it is his fault.
So which way does he turn? Not to his friends, he's too isolated in his feelings of self hatred to do that. Not to the wider society, it will inevitably take the woman's side and compound his pain. Not to the Church, who's voice is weak and unsure of itself, frightened and compromised with the world. Not to therapists who require that he finds the solution within himself.
He's stuck, feeling cornered and depressed, probably suicidal.
This is why he eventually leaves his wife and starts to rebuild his life and confidence.
Well said and you are right it's still a very important issue. From experience, I think this boils down to feminism making modern women more masculine and unwilling to follow. Seeing him as an ATM and Mom Assistant is a great way to put it. If *he* is *her* assistant, who is the leader? Who is the follower? Modern women need to relearn how to be feminine, how to be soft, nurturing, and open to being the helper they were created to be. Some will push back and say "I'm not his mother! I don't need to nurture him! He's a grown man!" They say this automatically, defensively, but they would balk at anyone saying "He's not your father! He doesn't need to protect and provide for you! You're a grown woman!"
Thanks again for posting this short piece. Modern women have a long way to go.
Definitely had issues with intimacy but I was fortunate as my wife loved me and was willing to hear me out once I had the courage to speak up about it.
Thank you. Bless you and your wife!
I have only tasted the faintest hint of this, and it is devastating. Thank you so much for addressing it. I know men who have been here, and we do need it to at least be discussed, but you have done one further: discussed it with wisdom and humility. Thank you.
If any person is reading this and their gut feeling is “what the fuck?”…. Just know you are more well than anyone who wrote this or can read it without laughing. You are a-ok if you found this fucking insane to read
You sound nice….(sarc)
This issue is fraught with guilt.
The husband may feel he's no right to ask his wife for anything, and find himself caught in a trap where he doesn't dare to express his feelings, knowing the response he will receive will contemptuousy blame him for being the cause of the situation.
He has failed to make his wife feel like she wants him. It's his fault.
What can he do? He has failed in the very thing he wanted more than anything: to love and be loved by his wife, and has no idea how or why this has happened.
He only knows one thing for sure: it is his fault.
So which way does he turn? Not to his friends, he's too isolated in his feelings of self hatred to do that. Not to the wider society, it will inevitably take the woman's side and compound his pain. Not to the Church, who's voice is weak and unsure of itself, frightened and compromised with the world. Not to therapists who require that he finds the solution within himself.
He's stuck, feeling cornered and depressed, probably suicidal.
This is why he eventually leaves his wife and starts to rebuild his life and confidence.
Dr J, your words are wise and need to be heard.
Thank you. Glad to help.
Well said and you are right it's still a very important issue. From experience, I think this boils down to feminism making modern women more masculine and unwilling to follow. Seeing him as an ATM and Mom Assistant is a great way to put it. If *he* is *her* assistant, who is the leader? Who is the follower? Modern women need to relearn how to be feminine, how to be soft, nurturing, and open to being the helper they were created to be. Some will push back and say "I'm not his mother! I don't need to nurture him! He's a grown man!" They say this automatically, defensively, but they would balk at anyone saying "He's not your father! He doesn't need to protect and provide for you! You're a grown woman!"
Thanks again for posting this short piece. Modern women have a long way to go.